Letters to Romeo
by idiot-inator
Summary: Sophomores Dan and Phil live very different lives, when they get set up on a dating site... but there are some secrets hiding inside. Slash and fluff! - I'M HANDING THIS FIC OFF TO MY FRIEND ON AO3 [Hillbilly Leprechaun]


**Hey, there! i was just watching _Letters from Juliet, and i was inspired to write this little number!_**

The latest dating service has just made its way to town. The "Letters to Romeo" company has just planted roots and is searching for participants. As stated in the program information, a boy and a girl will give out their information and be matched. Their matches will then send letters to one another through the site. After a month, the boy and girl are given emails . A month later, the boy and girl are given cell phones with one number programmed. Finally, the Letters to Romeo company will set them up on a date.

"Think he'll be mad?" A fifteen-year-old blonde girl asks her green-haired friend.

" _I'd_ be mad, but I'm with Troye." He shrugs. "Dan's gonna be _pissed_."

"Why am I gonna be pissed?" The brunette in question asks, walking up with a hot cocoa in his hand. "… is that my name? Did you just enter me in that thing?" He demands, his voice growing shrill.

"Relax." The green-haired boy smirks. "Maybe you'll meet a ladyboy."

"Shut up, Tyler. I'm fucking gay. This is for boys meeting girls. How the hell am I supposed to find someone when you just sent my shit to meet a fucking girl?"

"Relax, Romeo." The girl steps in. "It's just a few months, okay? You get matched at the start of February. Then April and May. You go on one date at the beginning of June, and then we're on vacation. It's nothing."

"Yeah, yeah. You're right, Louise. Okay. Alright. I can do this. Wanna come over and play Sonic?"

Louise and Tyler share a look that clearly states they don't want to. Tyler asks if Dan will order a pizza. He readily agrees as he's too insecure and he doesn't want to lose his friends. On the other side of town, twenty-year-old Phil is siting on the floor of the flat he shares with his best friend Hazel. He is mindlessly staring at the computer screen before him. Hazel is beside him. Their other close friend, Caspar, returns from the kitchen with two bottles of Ribena and a flask of brandy. Hazel readily accepts the alcohol; the boys roll their eyes.

"I can't believe I let you two convince me into doing this. Some poor guy is now going to have been catfished."

"Chill, Philicity." Caspar smirks, earning him a Tortoro plushy in the face.

Phil rolls his eyes again, sighing as it's been placed online. There's no turning back now. Their college workload is slow, so his friends have convinced him to pretend to be a girl. Caspar had won him over, stating that he may be matched with a total closet case. A couple weeks pass by, and the boys put the thought out of their minds. On February first, Phil wakes up around noon to find Hazel at the breakfast bar. She has an envelope in her hand and is staring at him smugly. She has a box of her frosted wheats at her side, which he groggily reaches for.

"Whassat?" He gestures to the envelop as he pours a cup of coffee.

"You hooked a Romeo."

Phil almost drops the pot. He takes a long sip of coffee and sets everything down. He snatches it from her, falling onto the couch in the lounge. A surprised voice causes him to realize Caspar is on the other side. He looks over as Phil rips the envelope open, and they move closer.

 _You've been matched with…_

 _Daniel J. Howell_

 _Age: Sophomore_

 _Likes: Videogames, Muse, Llamas, Malteasers_

 _Looks for: Tall, Gingers, Dark hair, Cuddler, Sense of humor_

 _Reach me: Anytime after four pm until five am_

"Nice going, Phil." Hazel playfully shakes her friend. "You snagged a hot one."

"There's a picture?" Caspar asks, frowning when he realizes what Hazel means. "Well, yeah. Hot one."

"Thanks, guys." Phil laughs. "Who writes first?"

Dan, Tyler and Louise walk into Dan's house with intentions of heading to the garage. Dan's mom stops them in the kitchen, waving an envelope in Dan's face.

"Dan, a word?"

He nods sheepishly, and his friends go to the garage to wait for him. She guides him to the living room and they sit on the couch. His mom, Susan, looks very confused.

"Do you remember two years ago? In the park?"

Dan ducks his head. "I came out, and you passed out."

"Danny, I'm not mad. I'm just confused. You _do_ realize this is a dating service for boy- _girl_ relationship, don't you?"

"Heterosexual." Dan remarks sarcastically. "Yeah, Mom. Maybe I'm bisexual."

"Oh, Lord… okay, honey. You know best. Let me know if it gets serious between you two."

"Thanks, Mom."

He takes the envelope and joins his friends. Tyler and Louise are already in the broken-down Vista Cruiser. Dan piles in as well, brandishing the envelope. Tyler moves so Dan is in the center. The trio reads it over together.

 _You've been matched with…_

 _Philicity Lester_

 _Age: Sophomore_

 _Likes: Videogames, Emo Music, Lions, Cereal_

 _Looks for: Tall, Dark hair, Cuddler, Sense of humor_

 _Reach me: Anytime after five pm until three am_

"Damn, Daniel." Tyler shoves his friend. "This chick is _perfect_ for you."

"You might convert back." Louise adds.

Dan rolls his eyes. "Shut up, you guys. Which one writes first?"

On February seventh, Dan has a letter in his mailbox when he gets home. He excitedly shows the "Letters to Romeo" label to his friends. As they walk in the driveway, the three friends read over the short letter.

 _Hey, Romeo_

 _You're looking for a tall, funny cuddler with ginger hair? You're sorely mistaken. I'm a tall, funny cuddler with black hair. Like a raven. So, you must be a real deal. You said 'cuddler' when you could have said 'lover' or 'sex partner'. That's what a lot of people use this service for. Speaking of, have you ever had sex? I love videogames. Maybe we could play in the summer._

 _Write Back,_

 _Philicity L._

"Whoa, Dan. She's almost too good to be true." Louise smiles.

"Yes, but she's a _she_. I don't like girls that way."

"Maybe she'll be the exception."

"Have you wrote a letter yet, Dan?" Tyler asks, expertly changing the subject.

"No. I've tried. But it sounds stupid and I procrastinate." Dan looks down at his feet, arriving at the front door.

"Well, let's go upstairs and write one."

On February thirteenth, Phil is checking the campus post office. When he sees a letter inside, he nearly drops his Starbucks coffee. Instead, he stuffs it into his pocket and hurries out to the busses. Phil is antsy as he waits for the silver line, and other people notice. When it arrives, he slumps into the first available seat and he opens the letter.

 _Hi._

 _Juliet, is it? A tall, funny cuddler with black hair is perfect. I can assure you I am not here for someone to have sex with. Not that it's any of your business, but no, I'm a virgin still. My two friends don't like to play the same games as me. Tyler plays horror games, and Louise plays glitzy shit. I like Sonic, Donkey Kong, Mario, the works. Look, I procrastinate like crazy. I go to school, I hang out in a broken-down car. You'll maybe get this around Valentine's Day. Do you have plans?_

 _Uh, write back if you want._

 _This is Dan._

Phil smiles as he folds the paper up and leaves the bus. He walks up to his flat, unaware that Caspar is behind him until they cross the street. Phil waves the envelope and Caspar snatches it away. While Caspar reads, Phil realizes he's misplaced his coffee, but he collects his keys from his jacket pocket. The two of them walk in, and Phil grabs them two diet cokes.

"Gonna write him back, _Philicity_?"

"Of course." Phil scoffs.

"After we play Portal?"

Phil shrugs. "Sure. Why not?"

True enough, Phil soon writes back. On February nineteenth, Susan has an envelope attached to the fridge by magnet, next to a note saying she'll be home late. Dan and Louise grab the envelope, immersing themselves in the exciting new letter.

 _Oh, Danny-o_

 _Yes, this is Philly-ette. I'm glad you're not here just for sex. I'm a virgin… with girls. I like some horror games, but I really like the retro stuff more too. Plus, fighting games, but I'm not great at co-op. It brings out the competitive-aggressive side of me. I procrastinate at times, but my friends keep me level. I mess around with the rusty shell of Caspar's car. It got set on fire to keep it from getting repossessed. I got your letter the day before Big Hearts Day. It's just a coupley commercial holiday. Just a lame excuse to tell people you love them and hope they forgive you for any crap you've done lately. Caspar, Hazel and I just made a blanket fort and watched a few Disney movies. You do anything?_

 _You're interesting._

 _Philly_

"Did you read how she wrote that?" Louise's eyebrows perk up. "She says she's a virgin _with girls_. Maybe she's bisexual."

"Movie of the year!" Tyler pipes up. "Gay guy turns straight for bisexual girl!"

"Shut up." Dan groans. "She also likes the same videogames I do, and she hangs out in a broken car like I do. I'm scared that I'm starting to actually like her."

"Just go with it, Dan." Louise smiles. "She wrote you a whole paragraph. Just keep it up and see where it goes."

On the twenty-fourth, Phil receives a letter at the campus post office. Hazel grabs it for him while he grabs them a pizza from the student union. Once they meet up at the flat, they fall into their rhythm, reading it over together.

 _So, it's Philly, now?_

 _Clearing the sex stuff and the videogaming, me and Louise just hung around. Tyler had a date. I'm not interesting. I just sloth around the house. I drink Ribena and scroll through the internet with the radio blaring until someone tells me to turn it down. I make up my own songs and dance like no one's watching. I don't know how to cook; I always order takeout when no one's home with me. I sloth around at school and make straight Cs. I have brown hobbit hair and brown eyes. What's so interesting about that?_

 _Dan…ny_

Hazel giggles. "Poor Danny Boy."

"Yeah…" Phil sighs. "He sounds cute."

Hazel looks over at him with her eyebrows raised and a knowing smirk. Eventually, they separate into their own rooms. Phil gets straight on his laptop. It's a leap year, so Dan receives his next letter on February twenty-ninth.

 _You can call me Philly, Danny_

 _Let's find all your interesting points, shall we? You daily imitate an Australian mammal with minimal ease. You drink something nonalcoholic and search around the world wide web. You let everyone know what you like through your music selection, and when you can't find the right song, you get creative. You know what you want to eat, so you get it from the people you can trust. You don't let others judge you when it comes to school. As long as you're passing, you don't care at all. Your hair and eyes mesh in a chocolate hue. And you dare tell me you're not interesting? For shame!_

 _We'll be emailing soon, Danny_

 _Philly, x_

 **Please review/PM! i will love you for it!**


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